An Unexpected Birthday Surprise
by imdeadsothere
Summary: It's Ron's birthday, and Harry has Ron's entire day planned out for him, finishing it off with... a strip club? SLASH. ONE-SHOT. THERE WILL BE STRIPPERS AND TEQUILA, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY RON WEASLEY!

Warning, this fic contains much tequila. And strippers. And Justin Bieber. You have been warned.

~.oOo.,.oOo.,.oOo.~

"Happy birthday Ron!" Harry said eagerly, jumping on Ron's bed.

"Ugh, Harry," Ron groaned.

"Oh come on sleepy head," Harry said, shaking Ron, "it's your birthday."

"Can't I at least sleep in on my birthday?"

"It's noon."

"Exactly."

Harry rolled his eyes, "oh just get up already, I have your whole day planned out for you."

"How do you know I didn't already have plans," Ron said groggily sitting up.

"Because it's you," Harry replied, "your idea of a 'planning' is completely last minute, and by last minute I mean literally, I mean last minute."

"Okay, so I don't have plans, but what if someone else had plans for me?"

"They don't, I checked, and if they do, they can suck it."

"Creep," Ron grumbled.

"Yes, but I'm your favorite creep, now hurry up and get up, I made you breakfast," Harry said, getting off the bed and walking out into the apartment kitchen. Ron clambered out of his bed and followed. Arriving in the kitchen to find that Harry had prepared him a grandiose meal of toast and tea.

"Man, I don't even get a full breakfast on my birthday?" Ron grumbled.

"Technically, it's lunch," Harry replied.

"Whatever."

"Besides, our first order of business on this lovely day of birth of yours is we're going to your mother's for a late lunch, so I didn't want to give you too much here anyway, you know how she'll feed you."

"Yeah, but I can always eat more."

"Can and should are two very different things," Harry replied, serving himself some tea.

"Do we have to go to my mum's?" Ron asked.

"Of course we do," Harry replied.

"But she's just going to bug me about how I don't have a girlfriend yet."

"Well maybe if you got one she wouldn't bug you so much."

"Yeah but girls have cooties."

"Then don't get a girlfriend."

"But everyone keeps telling me I need to get one."

"Then get one."

"But…"

"Ron," Harry said, shooting him a look.

"Why don't you have a girlfriend?" Ron asked.

"Reasons," Harry replied, "more tea?"

"No thanks, hey, how did you get in anyway?"

Harry held up a fake rock key holder, "you know these are a lot less useful when you use them indoors," Harry said.

"Oh shut up," Ron replied, finishing his toast.

"Now hurry up and go get dressed, I already laid out some clothes for you."

"You did?"

"Yeah, well you were sleeping, they're in your bathroom."

"Oh." Ron got up, walking over to the bathroom, sure enough Harry had put out clothes for him. She quickly showered and put on the clothes before coming back out.

"Don't you think this is a bit much?" Ron asked, staring down at the button down shirt.

"At least I let you wear jeans," Harry pointed out.

"Yeah, but these are my nice jeans, I never wear my nice jeans."

"Heaven forbid you should wear something that isn't covered with food stains."

"Hey, I like my other clothes, they're…"

"Dirty, nasty, gross," Harry suggested.

"Well worn," Ron replied.

"Sure, whatever floats your boat."

"Oh, lets just go to my mum's," Ron said.

"Excellent," Harry said cheerfully, heading over to the fire place and grabbing the floo powder. He quickly disappeared into the green flames, and Ron followed suit.

Lunch went better than expected. His mum didn't bug him too much about not having a girlfriend. Of course she'd probably lay it on thick next time she saw him to make up for it, but still, the break from her nagging was nice.

Afterwards Harry dragged him out to see a movie, which as much as Ron loudly complained every time Harry made him go to a movie with him, Ron secretly liked going to the cinema. They were fun, besides, he likes spending time with Harry, and today was no exception. They ended up watching some sad chick flick about a girl who looses her memory in an accident and doesn't remember her husband, but even Ron found himself tearing up a bit. Though he would never admit it. Ever. Harry would probably lord it over him for centuries.

Then they went to Hermione's for dinner.

"Hey boys!" Hermione said cheerfully, greeting them at the door, "I'm almost finish with dinner!"

"Oh don't worry about it," Harry said, "Ron's had plenty of food today anyway, hi Mark!" Harry waved to Hermione's boyfr… no, fiancé, Mark.

"Hello guys," Mark said, shaking both their hands, "how are you two today?"

"Great, thanks," Harry replied, "did you talk to your friend?"

"Yeah, just show your IDs at the door, he's got you great seats."

"Great, thanks," Harry said. Ron eyed them both suspiciously.

"Great seats for what?" he asked.

"Oh you'll see," Harry replied, "Hermione, that smells wonderful, what is it?" Ron groaned, there went Harry, changing the subject again.

"Oh just a recipe my mo… hey! I love this song! Mark could you turn it up?"

"Sure," Mark called, turning the music up. Ron listened to the music for a few seconds.

"Wait, this is that Canadian guy, isn't it?"

"Yes," Hermione replied, "it is, and he has a name you know."

"Wasn't it like, Beebo or something."

"It's Bieber actually," Hermione replied, "the two girls next door have got me addicted."

"Isn't he like… twelve?"

"Eighteen actually," Hermione replied, "today's his birthday."

"Today? Really? Ugh, my birthday just got ruined," Ron groaned. Harry laughed.

"Oh come on, he's not that bad."

"What are you two? Cougars?" Mark burst out laughing ad Hermione and Harry both shot him a glare.

"Nice one, Ron," Mark said, "but it is your birthday," so he shut Bieber off and instead turned on some soft rock. Much better.

"Dinner's ready!" Hermione called, and the boys all quickly swarmed the table, eager to fill their bellies.

Overall Ron had a pretty good day by the time they left Hermione's, he should let Harry plan his days out more for him.

"So, home now?" Ron asked as they said goodbye to Hermione and headed out onto the street to aparate.

"Only if you want," Harry said.

"Not really," Ron said, "I want to do something really fun, something… daring! Something that I've never done before!"

"Like what?"

"Um, I dunno, what was that you and Mark were talking about earlier." Harry just shrugged it off.

"Oh nothing, just tell me, what do you want to do?"

"Well, it has to be something I've never done before. And it has to be pretty wild like… no maybe not."

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"Oh nothing…" Ron said.

"Ron…"

"Fine, I was just thinking it would be really crazy to go to a strip club."

"Strip club?"

"See? Now you're judging me!" Harry laughed.

"No, it's okay, besides, I might know a place."

"You know a strip club?"

"I might…"

"Do you frequent there often?"

"Oh god no, but two of my co-workers do, and they seem to think it's great so…"

"Well, what kind of taste do they normally have?"

"Very good taste actually, dare to try it?"

Ron thought for a minute, "yeah!" he decided. Harry reached out and grabbed his arm and apparated them both.

~.oOo.,.oOo.,.oOo.~

Ron stared in awe up at the place, he'd expected some skeevy place in the bad side of town, but this place looked nice. Neon lights, music blaring, the only problem was the long line.

"That might take awhile," Ron said, pointing at the line.

"Oh, I've got us covered," Harry said, walking right up to the bouncer and handing him his ID. The bouncer checked it and then let them through.

"How did you do that?" Ron asked.

Harry smirked.

"Wait, was that what Mark was talking about?" Harry grinned.

"He has a friend that works here," Harry explained.

"So wait, this was actually planned?"

"It might have been…"

"How do you always know what I want before I even know what I want?"

"Oh you don't even know the half of it," Harry replied, "care for a drink?"

They'd passed through the entrance hallway and out into the main room. It was dim and the lights were flashing like crazy. Ron couldn't see anything very well, but there was something strangely off about the crowd. Like something was missing. But he shrugged and passed it off. Harry led him to the bar and ordered two shots of tequila. Once again knowing exactly what Ron wanted.

Ron gulped his tequila down and then looked around again.

There was definitely something missing. He wasn't sure what it was though, but it didn't seem like a bad something was missing, it felt like a good something was missing.

"So what do you think?" Harry asked.

"It's… crazy…" Ron breathed, having never been in a club, much less a strip club, "when are the dancers going to come out?"

"Not long I don't think," Harry replied, ordering two more drinks.

"You know," Ron said, "I get the strangest feeling that there's something off about this place."

"A good off or a bad off?" Harry asked, passing him his shot.

"Good off, definitely a good off," Ron replied, chugging down his shot.

"Come on, lets get a booth," Harry said, grabbing his hand and dragging him over to a semi private booth on the edge, that still had a great view of the whole room.

"I feel so weird being here… like I'm rebelling or something," Ron said. Harry just chuckled. Just then the dancers came out, walking up to the poles, gripping then with their hands, only they were… male. And then it hit him. Something was missing, girls. Harry had taken him to a gay bar. But for some reason, Ron didn't mind. In fact, thinking about it, he kind of preferred it. Girls did have cooties after all.

"So…" Harry began, "do you like it?" Ron turned to look at him.

"How do you always know what I want before I even know it?" Ron asked.

"I know you well Ron," Harry replied.

"Yeah, better than I know myself apparently," Ron replied. He turned back, he'd already picked out his favorite dancer. It was a smaller guy, well built but still kind of scrawny. He looked a bit like Harry actually.

"See any one you like?" Harry asked.

"That one guy, over there, the one that looks kind of like you." Harry raised his eyebrows at this, but Ron didn't notice.

"Oh wait," Ron said, turning back to face Harry, "this isn't weird for you, is it? I mean, you don't mind?"

Harry just shook his head, "nah, it's fine."

"Oh good, but if you get uncomfortable, you tell me and we'll leave, okay?"

Harry nodded. Ron turned back to the dancers. He watched them for a bit but it didn't feel quite right, they were nice, that's for sure, but it still felt like there was something missing. He started scanning the crowd instead, watching the masses of men writing against each other. He just kind of looked around, not really finding one thing he was interested in staring at for two long. It was around this time that Ron realized Harry was staring at him. He pretended not to notice. Harry kept on staring. Ron turned to look at him.

"Are you staring at me?" Ron asked.

"Yes," Harry replied, "you don't mind, do you? After all, you are the best looking guy around." Ron blushed.

"Oh." He didn't quite know what so say, so he opted to stare back at Harry. He liked that much better than the crowd or the dancers.

"And now you're staring at me," Harry noted.

"Well you are the best looking guy around," Ron replied, not even realizing what he'd just said until he'd said it. But Harry didn't seem to mind, instead he just smirked, sliding over in the booth to sit next to Ron. And by sitting next to him he meant right next to him, with barely any space left in between them.

"Harry…" Ron said.

"Yeah?" Harry asked, reaching up and stroking Ron's face.

"What are you doing?"

"Giving you what you want before you even know you want it," Harry replied, and kissed him flat on the lips. And it was exactly what Ron had wanted.

~.oOo.,.oOo.,.oOo.~

AN: Yeah, random-ness 'cause it's Ron's birthday today (it's also Justin Bieber's, by the way, I wasn't kidding when I wrote it in the story, goodness… the things I learn from twitter…). And sorry for any spelling and grammar errors, this story is completely unedited because I was kind of in a hurry. I wanted to get it in before March 1st ended! I'll fix it some other time, but for now, viola!


End file.
